Throughout my life, I have questioned what it means to be Christian. More to the point, if I should call myself one.

I probably would not classify myself as anything specific, for I would I prefer to say, I am a person of faith. In the walls of a church, I can feel the Holy Spirit and in moments of frustration and anger I can feel God's grace. I have been asked to speak or give a testimony at multiple churches and although public speaking comes easily for me, I have always declined. My feeling is that one’s faith is personal and therefore, I do not feel comfortable sharing what is on my heart to an audience. 

Recently, I have realized that the reason for me not wanting to share my thoughts with others is not because it is too personal, but because I do not know exactly what I feel. Although I am unwavering about some controversial subjects, I stay away from the subject when around others whom I know do not have the same viewpoints as me. What I am open about, depends on who I am with. 

I have friends who are atheists and I respect all religion. Still, I probably think of myself as a Christian, or at least I most closely identify myself with Christianity. I am well aware of the stigmas and prejudices about those who call themselves such. People view "church-goers" as homophobic, hypercritical, and judgmental. Sometimes, that might be true, but sometimes it's not. As a person of faith, I support most of the social issues that Christians are believed to condone. Yet, I am a firm supporter of gay marriage and abortion rights. I see good in most all religions, as I feel people trying to believe in something greater than themselves is vital to one’s inner peace. I feel all of us should have some form of faith or spirituality as it is something to turn to or guide us when we need direction. 

So, you might ask why I attend a church where my personal beliefs contradict the religion in some ways. My answer is that although there are some aspects of Christianity that I oppose, the feeling I have while being around others who all believe there is something greater than us offsets the differences; Differences that in the eyes of God probably seem petty.